Elon Gets Restraining Order After AOC Stalks Tesla Headquarters

AOC Now Considered a Stage 5 Clinger by Those Closest to Elon

AUSTIN, TX - Tesla headquarters over the weekend faced a huge security threat after AOC arrived seeking out owner Elon Musk. After being shunned by Musk on Twitter, AOC's behavior became more aggressive by interrupting Tesla's business with her arrival. Employees described to the Austin Police Department that she had evolved into a stage 5 clinger and was inconsolable when Elon showed no interest in her romantically.

The temporary restraining order will be active for 30 days and goes into effect on Monday, May 2, 2022. Sources close to Elon hope that this will give AOC time to locate a new source for her desires. Some suggestions within the order included:


Christian Mingle

Plenty of Fish


AOC ran once the police arrived and were not available for comment.